Waiting to Disappear
July 21 14

The emptiness is deafening.
Please bring me soothing silence.

July 18 14

Underneath the trees I’d chase you like fireflies at dusk.
In our playful game, your fluttering light always eluded me.

July 16 2014

Love is the only thing worth hurting for.

zeffwolf:

My pronunciation is terrible because I’m from The Netherlands.

"I take you for who you are.
I will protect you and fight your demons.
Maybe I can never save you,
but I can you give you my body
for your demons to rest if you
can’t sleep at night.
I don’t mind if I have to stay
in the shadows forever,
but I hope that someday the stars
will light up the space around us and
I can embrace you with all that I am.
And if you fall, I’ll catch you,
and if you are already falling
too fast for my body to handle,
I will fall with you, as two falling
stars that are bound to hit the
thing that breaks us all inside.
But, we can always create
something new out of our star dust.
I promise, I will never leave you,
because I know,
your beauty is,
infinite.”

It Is

It’s a glittering light amidst the dull.
It’s a warm smile amidst cold tears.
It’s a soft song, sung to a sweet and slow beat.
It’s a slow dance that takes us all around the room.
It’s running my fingers through your hair.
It is this joy that blossoms within me when I am with you.

July 14 2014

In this shrouded dream, there is a gleaming light hidden behind the eyelids of he that lays upon the island.
And in his heart there is a beat that echoes out, searching across the water for she that could awake him from this nightmare.

Stop and Listen.

There are times I have nothing to say, but still much is left to be told.
At times I have much to express, but no way to capture it as truthfully as I experience it.
Perhaps this is a failure on my part as a writer, performer, and young lazy teenager. Or perhaps it’s that I just need more practice.

It’s a very claustrophobic feeling, not being able to say what you want to tell. Or perhaps I should say Not knowing a way.
I find myself wanting to hide myself away during these sort of situations.
I try to express my thoughts, but all I feel is an even more muddled feeling. I want to hold someone close to me and hide in their warm hug. I want to hear them speak and express; to hear them weave their stories from thoughts, letters, and words. To hear them tell a lifetime through seconds, minutes, hours, and days. I want to listen instead of speak, so that I may forget that I live in a world which I very often I cannot sufficiently express my thoughts.

In these times perhaps it is best I do not write.
Maybe the world wants me to stop and listen, and not worry about what I think.

~ Jacxk

Piano

Each stroke and brush of the keys were colors strewn across a canvas.
Each speckled tone like a star in the night sky.
The notes reverberated off the old boards of the piano, stirring my soul.
I clung tightly to this feeling as the notes brought harmonious counter to the roaring dissonance within me.
The pages before me rippled like fabric in the harsh gusts of wind.
I felt rhythmic and steady amidst this storm around me.
For in my heart, I feel this song.

Happy

Amidst all our tears, and all our laughery, one thing is always true.
You make my heart happy.

I’m scared

I don’t like feeling this way. I get trapped in this mind whose thoughts I don’t understand. I don’t like what I’m thinking. Why am I broken? I’m scared of who I am. I’m scared of what I think. I don’t like it. I don’t want to be like this.

~ Jacxk